Praying Parents

Letters To My Daughter by Dear Dad

For over two decades I've enjoyed the most fantastic relationship with my little girl. Nothing but pure joy to Her mother and I, it was inconceivable when in a matter of weeks "what we had feared" came rushing upon us. While still close, our hearts break a dozen times a day over her abrupt change in behavior and lifestyle. Often engulfed in grief and fear, we continue to pray and trust that what sin means for evil God will turn to good.

After thousands of hours of relationship and training throughout my daughters lifetime, and many conversations concerning her recent decisions, I've found writing a helpful and hopeful release. The following represent the whole or parts of letters I written. Some I've sent, some not. All are from a heartbroken dad scanning the horizon for his daughter to come to her senses and come home...

Dear Daughter,

It’s been two months since I wrote you so I thought it might be okay. Thanks for making time for me on Father’s Day weekend. Given the situation, suggesting we spend some alone time was the gift I was hoping for. It was great splitting our favorite breakfast burrito and walking hand in hand to the river. I also enjoyed the Caramel Frappuccino from Starbucks before going to lunch as a family.

Still, with all that has happened over the last few weeks, it was a terrible good. Terrible because it was the kind of Father’s Day I had hoped never to have. Good because I miss you now more than ever.

As you know your recent choices have left your mom and I in shock and mourning. Your leaving so suddenly tore a gaping whole in our hearts we were ill prepared for. Then, rather than our hopes and prayers being realized that you might change your mind and come back for at least until you were better prepared to leave, week after week many of our worst fears materialized.

As I write you the sun is rising. Troubled, I was up at 4:00 a.m. again this morning when I was drawn to one of the dozens of photo’s of you around the house. The one with mom in the pretty white picture box you thoughtfully gave her for Mother’s Day a couple years ago. Sweet like you, the mat around the picture is adorned with words like Beautiful, Friend and Love as well as with a description of each letter of the word Mother:

M...Memories
O...Outstanding
T...Tender
H...Heart
E...Expressive
R...Radiant

Hugging her waist, in the picture you’re only shoulder high. The bush of yellow daisies in the background’s bigger than you. I groaned and wept for the hundredth time. Studying the picture I noticed your cute but odd expression. To the trained eye you seem happy but a tiny bit unsure. It made me think of talks we’d had back them. You were always little for your age. Now, nearly twenty one and 5’2” your still so petite in body, mind and soul. Mom and I have always adored your “petiteness.” We love your quiet and precious spirit, though you sometimes worried that something might be wrong with you.

You were such a delight we were happy to find a hundred ways to show you what a priceless gift from God you were. Tens of thousands of kisses, tickles and hugs barely did justice to your status as a world class snuggle daughter.

That’s what makes all that’s happened over the last few months so devastatingly hard to believe. As Vizinni from Princes Bride would say, it’s “inconceivable.” Adding to the puzzle is your wonderfully sensitive nature. Remember when we were walking towards the river and you mentioned a deep breath I took. How many daughters notice their dad’s breathing? And as you may have guessed it was sigh over the pain our family is in. Oddly, a pain caused by one of the most sensitive daughters in the world. Pain from having just walked through the first house, other than our own, you ever lived in. A house belonging to a older man your living with while he’s going through a divorce.

Inconceivable...

You, our only daughter. Bethany Telah Pennington, who only a few years ago I trained to be the youngest pro-life and chastity multimedia peer presenter in the world.

Inconceivable...

Later, at the river’s edge, we moved from pleasantries to deeper conversation. We talked about the serious discussions we’ve had during the last few weeks. At one point you noticed my tone soften as I gently probed for the reasons behind your recent decisions. Your careful and thoughtful answers again display your sensitivity. Yet your actions are extremely insensitive given how you were raised, who you’ve been and the little we’ve asked of you not to mention that until a couple of months ago your purity was important to both of us.

Inconceivable...

Deepening our confusion are two decades of honor you’ve shown us. Real rebellion was a far from you as the east from the west. Unlike your brother who being ”dinner and a show”’ had an inquisitive and stubborn nature earning him a hundred spanks before he was five, I never spanked you once. The closest I came was spanking my thigh after which you immediately collapsed into a puddle of daughter! Not perfect, you were nevertheless extremely sensitive and priceless. I remember once after having discovered the whereabouts of a stash of Christmas presents you warned “I can’t be trusted.” Later, when attending a Christian elementary school you surprised me by mentioning you might be “corrupt.” What happen to that little girl? Mom and I have been so proud of you for so long we’re beside ourselves.

Inconceivable...

I think I’ll end here. Not that there’s not more to say but because it’s as hard for me to write as I imagine it is for you to read. Please try to remember all we’ve discussed. Remember our talk about Moses who wisely chose God and even suffering over the passing pleasures of sin. Like me you love quotes. I leave you with one to think about from my novel Eternity. It’s an old proverb from our Irish side of the family: The Devil never grants long leases...

You’re asleep honey. Wake up. You’re in a nightmare you’ve mistaken for a dream. Come to your senses and come home before things get even worse.

We love and miss you so much.
Dad

Should you be interesting in submitting your own letter for consideration please contact Paying Parents at Rob@PrayingParents.org by calling (559) 305-2229.